ONE LOVE

A Joining Ceremony Message Given by Barbara on October 14, 2007

I. One Love-- Together for all Time-- Loving, Learn, & Working Together

In Song of Solomon 6:3 it says, "I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine." I believe that this can be interpreted as referring to soul relationships that exist throughout time and space. These soul relationships, when personalities are stripped away, allow us to look into our beloved's eyes and instantly feel a profound joy of recognition, a recognition that we know each other as old friends; that we've loved together endlessly and have never really been separate.

I believe this couple have this type of soul relationship and that they have indeed been loving, learning from, and working with each other throughout time and that they have come together in this reality to continue this journey of love and growth. In this holy reunion, they have the potential, when their personalities allow it, to know what it is like to be seen, known, and absolutely accepted for who they are. They have no need to hide anything about themselves from the other. They can let all of the facades, disguises, and protections melt away because their love just is-- because their love does not require that it be earned--and because at the soul level, each of them wants nothing more than the highest good for other.

II. One Love--At the Personality Level

Just because these two are soul mates at the cosmic level does not mean that the one love that they have come together to create in this reality will always be easy. Our personalities can get in the way of the work of our higher selves and can even seemingly create separateness as we work on our lessons and discern our path in this reality. I would just like to suggest, though, that we can choose each day how we will learn our lessons. We can choose to work on our personalities so that our daily experience reflects the never ending love that our souls have for each other at the highest level. We can choose to work to understand anything about our personalities that is getting in the way of true unconditional love. We can choose to work to understand anything about our personalities that might interfere with the giving and receiving of the one love that is indeed always there if we look for it. We can choose to work to understand and resolve any personality issues of abandonment and separation, self-worth, or surrender and trust that may block our reception of the one love that is always there.

Perhaps it is good to start by remembering that, as I John 4:16 says, "God is Love." Now, before I offend too many, I will just add as an aside that it does not matter what label you use. You may speak of God or Spirit or Universe or Source or Creator or Goddess or some other term to describe the only real thing -- which is Divine LOVE. The label doesn't matter. This Divine Love created us, but we create our perception of God and so whenever I say God or Spirit, please plug in your own term. As long as I am giving disclaimers, I would also like to say that I believe that this couple already knows and lives the stuff I am going to say. I mention it just because they asked me to give a talk.

Anyway, the source of this Divine Love is also within us. So, one of the things we must do to more fully share one love with our partner is to first look within ourselves and see that love and feel it and know that we are each "by ourselves" whole and complete and that our true happiness comes from within; not from our partner.

Part of this work requires us to be our true self at all times. As Paul Ferrini says, "Only the authentic person--one who honors his own truth--is capable of intimacy with another." And, "only the compassionate person--one who honors the other person's truth--is capable of being himself fully." So, to allow the one love to blossom, each partner must be him- or herself at all times and must, at the same time, accept their partner for who they are at the same time; not who they might or could be; not who they will be--just who they are right now.

This unconditional love of ourselves and of our partners places no limits on our freedom or on our partner's freedom. Rather, both partners grow and love without trying to force any particular form on their love, giving as is appropriate in each situation.

This might sound good on a theoretical level, but what does it mean on a day-to-day basis? How do we get out of daily who-is-right-and-who-is-wrong struggles or get past words that might seem to be hurtful in order to give and receive this never ending one love?

I believe that it begins by taking time each day to create the love we want within--time to visualize ourselves loving and being loved exactly the way we want to be loved. The more we visualize this one love, the more we will be able to see and feel it. Every day I say this mantra to myself: "I am love. I am light. I see only love. I feel only love. I extend and attract only love."

I also believe that each day we must hold the deliberate intent that the relationship exists now in this reality solely for the purpose of giving and receiving unconditional love, rather than to meet all of our needs. So, just love. Let love be your response to all words and actions--or lack thereof.

Thirdly, I believe that each day we must practice acceptance and appreciation of each other just as we are right now--not as we could be. Your partner is indeed perfect just the way they are. Perfect for the lessons and experiences that are to be yours now. Let your partner know every day what things that you like about him or her. Believe in their goodness and wisdom and this will increase your awareness of the one love that is always there. Or, put another way, we are not here to "fix" people. Our unconditional love allows them to do any fixing on their own. Our part is to trust in the life process and in their process to bring about the highest and best good for all.

I want to note here that unconditional love does not mean giving in to all of your partner's requests and does not mean totally devoting yourself to your partner at the expense of your own needs. To more fully see the one love that you share, you must each take care of yourself by feeding your needs and fueling the passions of your life. If you need an incentive for taking care of your own needs, just remember that the more you feel happy, whole, and at peace with yourself, the more attractive you become.

Just remember, though, when you are taking care of yourself and giving yourself the things that you need, to communicate with your partner about what is going on with you. Don't make them wonder why you are doing something by yourself or not including them. Tell them that you love them but that you need to do this. Re-assure them and then give your partner the gift of your own happiness and you will each see more clearly the one love that is always there.

I think Kahlil Gibran said it well when he said, "You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore ... But let there be spaces in your togetherness ... Love one another, but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music."

And, lastly, even though we are all perfect even in our imperfection, there will undoubtedly be times when feelings are hurt. During these times let your unconditional love be strong enough to speak your truth in love and to forgive--to release it and remember that the one love is and always will be there and that the spiritual part of you was not harmed. It was all part of the life process. Remember that you are one with the one who hurt you and nothing can change that.

III. One Love--A Ripple Across the Universe

Before we leave, I would like to suggest that this work of love that the two of you have chosen to do is very important. As you grow and experience your one love more fully, you will send out vibrations of love to your friends and acquaintances and in fact to everyone that you come in contact with. If they are ready, then they too will add their love vibrations to your love vibrations and continue the ripple of love to all they know. Soon your love will be felt all across the nation ... all across the world ... and out into the Universe. Your willingness to explore your "one love" will indeed help raise everyone's awareness of the love that is all around and help dispel the illusion of separateness ... and help move humanity to a higher vibration of love ... to an awareness of the truth that by breath, by body, by blood, by spirit we are all one. The only thing that is real and the only thing that truly matters is love--love of ourselves, love of others, love of the Divine--which all together really are just one love.